Driving to my office in an April morning snowstorm, the music is playing and the traffic is moving. It is feeling like it’ll be a good day . . . and that is about the time I noticed my back window was shattered and falling to pieces as I drove. It doesn’t take much to shakes one’s confidence in this life. A bad mark on an exam, a critical review from the boss, or a negative report from the doctor is usually enough to knock us right off our game. Every day, its seems, there is some new affront to our fragile self-assurance until all at once or gradually we realize, we are shattering. But my trust is in God, or at least I think it is.
On Sunday, I stood up in Church for our daily reading, thinking about the projection computer that had just broken down. “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love, ” I read. (Rom. 8: 38) Nothing, means broken things like computers and windows and all the other fragmented parts of our inner lives that we can’t fix without God’s help.
“Confidence in God is the only worship.” says Father Faber.
The reality is, I don’t always put my trust in God alone and that’s why problems rob me of my blessed assurance. Underneath the surface of my declaration of resounding faith is a lingering question, “Will God really come through for me?” When this question is settled in the depth of our souls, something unshakeable is supporting us. Trust in self is a snare that we often don’t notice until life gives us some perspective. The Psalmist experienced this reality check when he wrote,
“Your favor, O LORD, made me as secure as a mountain. Then you turned away from me, and I was shattered.” Psa 30:7
There is very little that is sure in this life. Riches flee, beauty fades, power is given to another and fame lasts for 5 minutes. “Vanity of vanities, all is vanity”, says the preacher, except of course, if our confidence is in God. When God is our confidence, nothing can be lost for all that matters is secure in Him.
Lord, if all things around me shatter and storms rage, may my hope rest secure, unbreakable in your great love and strength.
Do not be afraid of sudden terror
or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes,
for the LORD will be your confidence
and will keep your foot from being caught.
Proverbs 3:25–26 (ESV)